It Is Well With My Soul

It was one month ago tonight.  The girls and I had been working on a few organization projects in the house.  I had just reorganized several drawers, put everything away, and had sat down on the bed to find my phone.  I was searching though my purse for the phone, when I heard a voice say, "Is your mom home?" coming from the stairs.  I quickly ran to the stairs to find my neighbors Shari and Ron Fowler standing on the landing of the stairs.  They have a key and had let themselves in our house.  Mark had been trying to call, two sets of neighbors had been texting, and they had rang the door bell multiple times. In a calm but excited voice, Shari said, "Mark called. They have a heart!."  Ron then followed with the door of the truck was open and your purse was inside.  Apparently all I processed was the door of the truck was open.  I took off running out of the house to the Suburban. We had been unloading groceries and one of the girls must have left the door open.  I get there and realize the door has been shut.  Shari and Ron quickly followed me outside.  I turned and said, "A Heart!"  I was in complete and utter shock.  It wasn't until that moment outside under the stars that the weight of those words would hit me.  Shari shared the news... it's a perfect match.  I was in shock.  I hugged her with eyes full of tears and speechless. I thanked her for telling me and quickly ran back inside.  I heard our sweet four-year-old Ardyn's voice running through the house to her sisters, who were already in their beds, "Daddy is getting a new heart.  There's a heart for Daddy!"  And so began the adventure we will never forget.  A defining moment that I had dreamed about for fours years.  What would I do? How would I feel?  I was overcome with shock.  I knew it was coming.  Literally, just an hour before I had talked to Mark.  It had been a normal conversation that I had driving back from the store with Aleah. The last thing he had said to me was when you make reservations use this account for your travel expenses.  He had paid bills through August 1.  Did he know?  Poignant moments flooded my mind of pieces of conversations.   Mark had the toughest day of the 47 day wait the night before. He had gotten to the point that he just could not take it anymore.  He was emotionally broken and needed me.  In fact, we had made plans for me to fly out for a few days.  On Friday night, the plan had been for me to take the afternoon flight on Saturday.  I had searched flights and had one on hold.  That morning he was feeling better and so we had decided for me not to travel that day...or so we thought.  Ardyn had been singing all week about Mommy going to Minnesota on Sunday.  That Daddy was in the hospital and getting his new heart. Did she know?  Was God using all these moments to prepare us?

I ran upstairs to find the joyful faces of my four girls now sitting on our bed.  Tears filled my eyes and through gasps for air I said, "This is it!  Daddy is getting a new heart tonight!"  I hugged all four and we cheered and cried and danced around.  "Daddy is getting a new heart RIGHT NOW.  A PERFECT MATCH!" We anxiously went through the plan that we had rehearsed so many times.  Mommy was going tonight, as soon as I could get on a flight. They would come later.  I suddenly realized I had not talked to Mark!  I had to talk to Mark.  I ran back to the car to find my phone had fallen between the seats.  I had numerous texts, but oddly the calls had not come through as alerts.  I think that was God's way of making sure I heard the news from a calm voice along with a big hug and Christian friends who I know as soon as they walked back home covered me, Mark, our girls and our family in prayer.  In fact, Ron had come over just before we left to drive across country to Rochester 8 months before and covered us with prayers. How fitting that God used this couple to share this unbelievable news with me.

I called Mark and we cried.  Through tears he told me what was happening.  The surgery. The prep. What to expect.  The wait. The updates.  "Kristen, it's a perfect match!  They are already on the way to procure the heart." Sweeter words, I have never heard.

Mark was fine.  He was in good hands.  A couple he had just met a few days before had been visiting with him that night.  They were back at the hospital waiting with him.

Now, I had to turn my focus on buying airline tickets, securing a hotel, finalizing my bags.  I had been living out of my suitcase for almost two months.  Just that night, I had taken everything back in the house to reorganize AND once again make sure I had everything.  Go figure!  Just when I had "let my guard down," I didn't have the phone in my hands, I didn't have my bags in the car.  I was not expecting it that night.  Probably the first time I had not been expecting it.

The next call was to my parents who were at the beach.  Kiki, our niece, would come and stay with the girls until Meme and Papa could get back home.

The plans were in place. Mark's parents, my sister-in-law and I would leave our house around 4:00 Sunday morning.   None of us slept a wink that night.

Thinking back on the past month, I am amazed at the memories.  I am amazed at how the entire process was carefully knit together, not by us or in our timing, but by the ONE who created the universe.  Our Father, who art in Heaven, knit together every detail.

We are in awe that doctors can learn to take out a beating heart, put it on ice, fly it across several states, and place it in Mark and have it beat on its own again.  We are in awe at how God provides for us— even in the midst of doubt.  We are in awe that another family, lovingly thought of helping others in a time of great grief.  We are in awe to be one month on the other side of this incredible experience.

We have been showered with blessings.  God has used our friends, families, and even strangers to show us His love.  Others have been the hands and feet of Jesus.  We have received prayers from Christians across the globe.  We have received texts, calls, cards, emails and Facebook messages of encouragement.  We have had thousands of readers following our blog.  We have received surprise care packages in Rochester and at home.  Friends and family have cooked dinner for us, cleaned our house, helped with logistics, kept our girls, taken us out for ice cream, loved on us and celebrated with us.  It has been a month of unthinkable stress, and of unbelievable joy.

We still have a ways to go, but we are humbled by how far we have come.  Just tonight the girls and I were able to return to a restaurant we had not been in more than a year because of the anxiety one of our girls has been dealing with.  It was her idea to go tonight and it was so sweet to see how far she has come.  As we we pulled away from the restaurant, I turned up the radio.  Our favorite song was playing, at my favorite part.  At the top of our lungs in unison our four girls and I sang praises to Him..."It is well.  It is well with my soul.  It is well, it is well, with my soul!"